Inspiration...

It's been awhile since I've written. Not for lack of things to say, but I guess I just didn't know how to say it. The last month, has let things sink in. I am always going a million miles a minute, but in the free time, or as I sit quietly protecting my area, life... has set in. In the past 5 years my world has changed pretty dramatically. I wasn't happy with where I had steered myself, I kept making excuses and said things would get better. When I finally stopped and realized things were only getting worse. Two years ago, I stood up to myself, and said its time to do what feels right. To do what makes me happy. I made some changes, and now am in a spot where I can set myself up for success or the win. See, I feel like my life is on a timeout. The days are flying by, but everything seems to stand still or stay the same back home. I've paid my debts, started my Masters, and am learning as much as I can about the military and Afghanistan as I can. I have all different types of leaders around me, and have been watching them and seeing how they handle situations. I have

I look at this country, my own, and others I've visited or have studied, and I wonder, who am I meeting, or who is in the wings, to be the next inspiration. Who will be the next game changer....

For me, the original game changers were our Founding Fathers. They believed in something bigger, greater, better, for them and their children. They had the imagination, the patience, and will to stand up for what they believe in. Now were they perfect. No, because life, like Earth is ever evolving. I could go on and name the great leaders who brought great change to America, and the World. But I wonder, who will step up in the world. I'm in a country torn by war, by belief, religion. People, searching for order and a direction. Persuaded by TV and people who have power, like anywhere in the world. They had hope with the Northern Alliance, being lead by Ahmad Shah Massoud, and now they seem to have hope as well with us here... but there is still something missing...

But where is the turning point... its a constant battle, when will someone stand up for what they believe. Have the patience, the persaverance, the "it" factor, to appeal to all in some way, shape or form. To inspire, that there is something better then what they have.. that it won't come over night, but with time... where will that turning point be??

Who inspires you, who do you inspire... we can all make a difference in something, but most of the time for it to be truely affective you need to find that passion... What are you passionate about? I'm not saying go out and change the world. Study the world, see what makes it tick, and see what you can do to make it better for those around you... the better it is for them, sooner or later the better it is for everyone!

Remember the mind, the body, and your will, have more powers and capabilities then what we use in our day to day lives. The world is at a dark hour... horrible economic times, jobs are hard to find, global warming (or not), problems at home, wars, hunger... doubts, doubting yourself, your loved ones, your world. DON'T its not worth it!! Don't be afraid to be the light... have the courage to stay positive, to be the light, to lead you and others to something better. You never know when one thing can be the turning point for everybody...

Today, I was inspired... by a poem, by a movie, and by a man. Invictus, the poem is short but powerful, the movie gives a broader view how a few people who believed, lit up a c country. From the short narratives I've read of Nelson Mandela, along with his quotes and references, I have admired his view on life and how he understands and relates to people. A lot of his quotes, and his references refer to some sort of light coming out of darkness. I hope when my days are done that I can be the light for many peoples darkness...

"...I am the master of my fate:
The captain of my soul."
Invictus by William Ernest Henley

Volunteer vs Voluntold.....

I think this blog will be good for me to vent or to just relax by writing... today is the day before our Graduation Day... yippee we made it threw some training without killing eachother. It was essentially the same stuff we did in PA, but checking another box for another group. Anyhow, this isn't what this post is about...


It's close to crunch time, we all signed up to be soldiers. We swore our lives on it. Now comes the time when we have options. You see, our mission has changed, we can go one way or another... be Fobbits or be the Grunts we signed up for. Nothing is certain, all we know is we're going to the beautiful country of Afghanistan, hoping to restore that beauty, one heart and mind at a time.

Some men volunteered for this deployment, bringing them money, or it being the only thing they know to do now that they are out of school. Others were voluntold by Uncle Sam, that this is what your doing. Leaving a life they once new, family, friends, pets... now its changed again. We are slowly being broken apart, one person at a time is moving different directions because our platoons mission isn't certain. Uncertainty fills the bay, but we go on with the day to day.

Tonight. we have been given options, we may split up, we may go to the Wild Wild West of Afghanistan, the heart of many battles. Then again, we may just sit on a FOB waiting to come home, or a random mission to leave the FOB and see the country. We can wait to be voluntold where we're going, or we can volunteer to do the job we signed up for, with our leadership that the powers that be are taking from us and putting in another location. I think the majority of us want to drive on, stay with our leadership. The other half are letting Uncle Sam be the dealer, and hoping they get the hand that wins.

Confused? Imagine your leaders going one place and the rest of the crowd going another waiting to be picked up by other groups, other leaders. Now your leadership is going to fight to keep you together and take them with them. However, its not their final word. You can express your interest to follow them where ever Uncle Sam puts them, whether that be life guard duty on a FOB, or in the pits of Hell in the mountians. Do you volunteer for something that the odds are more against you then for you? But then again... every dog has its day. I believe in faith, but I also believe in calculated risks... What do you do?

I want to stay with the core group, where ever that takes me. I signed up for the Army a few years ago to be challenged, to protect my brothers in arms, and to fight the fight I didn't want to see my friends be "voluntold" to do with a draft. Its because of the men and women that volunteer daily that allow us to have the rights and freedoms we have today.

I will do whatever is asked of me, whether it be hiking the mountains of the Middle East, or waiting for a mission to come in on a FOB. Just as long as me and the guys com back in one peace. That's why we're over there aren't we? To bring back a country that only knows war, hopefully bringing peace back to its beautiful land, that has been infected by the poison of war. Along with a vengence and a safety of our own turf, our soil.

What would you do.... wait to be voluntold, or step up and volunteer... everything is a choice...

Home....

In the last few days, I've been thinking more and more about what home is. I haven't lived with my parents since I was 18, moved to college, switched residents every year, and continued the trend after school. I don't think I've lived in one place for more then a 10 months since I've been out of high school.

I could call a lot of places home, but recently to me the one thing that comes back into my mind when I think about home, are my friends. Where I feel the most comfort, and have the best support system. In High School, I had the best friend in the world. He taught me how to be myself and feel comfortable with all types of people. God bless James as his life was taking short. He taught me that if you worry about bills and what everyone else thinks that you'll miss life as it passes you by. To appreciate the little things.

In college, I had great friends that I know no matter what... I can always count on them. We've had our ups and downs, but they helped grow as a person. Taught me the ways of the world as I traveled all over the United States with them. That was home. I moved 4 times in college, but they were always there. I felt more at home with them, then going home and staying at the place where I grew up.

Evolution goes we graduate college and hit the real world. I moved to DC and had to make new friends, and caught up with friends in college that have become some of my best friends. Helping me with work, and learning how to live in a big city when all you know is the mountains.

As I start a new chapter in moving... I'm slowly realizing that I will always be home, as long as my friends are around me. Whether that be here waiting to go over seas, in a big City, or in a small town... my friends make me yearn for home.